BEING GENDERFLUID, WHAT DOES IT MEAN?

 I'm not entirely sure how to approach this subject matter, but one thing I know for sure is that I feel I am on the right track. Here is what I already know: "Someone who is fluid -- also called gender fluid -- is a person whose gender identity (the gender they identify with most) is not fixed. It can change over time or from day-to-day. Fluid is a form of gender identity or gender expression, rather than a sexual orientation."

 At the moment I am trying to get my hair to grow out healthily. That could take a while considering my hair is thinning on top. But help is at hand, I have started using ViGro shampoo for thinning hair. My hairdresser says it is very good shampoo, so let's see how this goes. Since starting to use it, 3 weeks down the line I can see results especially on top above my scalp. They say it should take 12 weeks to really see the results. My hair does look thicker than 2 years ago, so I definitely am doing something right! Hair should be washed every 2 to 3 days with the shampoo. Let's see the results at the end of the month.

I need to start being more feminine as I tend to still wonder what people are going to say with a transition of any sorts! Then again I shouldn't be worrying at all, as I have come this far and there is no going back! Looking for hoop earrings that are a bit heavier than what I found at MrP the other day. I need feminine or unisex tops that I can wear so I still have a lot to do.

I will update my progress as often as I can, hoping you will all understand.

I HAVE AN OBSESSION!

 I've said it before and I'll say it again! "I have an obsession with growing my fingernails long!" It's nothing new, as I have been doing it for the past 20 years or so. When I was younger it was taboo for a male to have long fingernails. Well here we are and things have changed. Male make-up artists are wearing make-up and have long painted nails. In my younger days you couldn't express yourself how you wanted! Pink was for girls and blue was for boys.

I am in the process of putting together a short video, showing clips of all color polishes and nail art that I have used over the years. So watch this space. It will be available on YouTube as well.   I need to start doing make-up seriously too as it gives me something new to do. Hopefully 2022 will be the year for me, as I'm starting to write more blog posts. I was neglecting my writing in the past and I used to be so good at it. I can do without a lot of things in life. Manicures, long nails and being feminine are not on that list!

LET'S GET 2022 STARTED EARLY

The past two years (2020/2021) have not been easy for millions of people, with this pandemic at large. Whether you beleve it or not, there is something out there causing the deaths of billions. Whether it's everyday influenza or some deady virus (manufactured in a lab somewhere), we should still take precautions as to our health. Here we are, wearing cloth masks and social distancing to slow down the spread of the pandemic. It should be said that wearing a cloth mask does not prevent one from becoming infected, neither does the vaccine. Recently it has been shown that people who recieved their shot still got infected. The best way to stay free from the virus is to avoid crowds and large gatherings, or to stay at home. One can now shop for groceries and meals online, that way you never have to step outside your front door as they get dellivered to you. As far as getting the vaccine it is your choice, like I said earlier the vaccine will not stop you from getting Covid19. With all the different brands of the Covid19 vaccine available, whih is the one that will work? Besides someone like myself who has health issues and is taking chronic medication for high blood pressure, gout, stage 2 diabetes and heart (stent in the artery), will I be putting my health at risk? I have decided not to take it after looking at the facts. When I had the stent put in my artery I was in hospital and had to be tested for Covid. The result came back negative. After my scare with the high pulse rate of my heart, I beleve I've been given a new lease on life. I need to get my personal sexual identity in order. I know who I am but I need to express my self more freely. I'm definitely leaning towards being Genferfluid. For those who don't understand, what does genderfluid mean? "Someone who is fluid -- also called gender fluid -- is a person whose gender identity (the gender they identify with most) is not fixed. It can change over time or from day-to-day. Fluid is a form of gender identity or gender expression, rather than a sexual orientation." Would that desdribe me? Just for the record I am gay, so that is one question answered. I suppose the next step would be "What pronouns would I use?

I'M BACK AND STILL ALIVE!

It's been awhile since I wrote anything on this blog. I know a lot of you probably think I met my maker or worse yet, sucummbed to Covid19. Well I'm happy to say none of that has happened and I am alive. I'm hoping to change the blog layout and design too, so any suggestioms would be welome. I need to start watching YouTube makeup videos too. What with this excessive locckdown we have been having and not being able to buy products. For six months we were banned from getting our nails done too! Can you believe that? Hair salons were not allowed to operate as well, something to do with social distancing. But here we are in August 2021, being forced to wear masks and life carries on. At least I can now dye my hair pink and get my nails done.

Welll this won't be the last post from me, I just wanted to tell you I'm still around and there is more to come!

DISCOVERING MYSELF 3

I'm on a mission. Before I can consider how I will live my life there are two things I have to  tackle first, one is to lose weight and secondly I must try and eliminate my gout. It's because of the gout that my feet are slightly swollen which prevents me from wearing my high heels and "other" shoes. So I have to start getting a diet together.
In my search for an identity, I will be venturing into uncharted territory as I would like to put it. On the 19th December I'm going to have some nail art done on my long nails. I know more or less what I want done so I will post the result here afterwards. I have developed a sudden intrest in nailart. Maybe this the next step towards my adrogony? The picture below is not of my nails but one I found on the web. I love the design and would like to have it done for pride next year. What do you think? Meantime I was thinking of using red instead of gold with silver stripes.

Actually the more I look at this pic, the more I like the colour and design. Maybe I'll even end up doing this on my next appointment at Woman's World. It's been decided, I'm doing my nails like the ones above. I'm so excited I can't wait! I spoke to my nail tech and it's going down on the 19th. This design is stunning and definitely something I would do!

Here's another photo by the same nail artist as above. I just love the color. Even though the photo is called "Halloween Nails" I just love it! Halloween may be over but one could do other designs on them.That color is something else. I know I've written more about my nails this time, but.I believe it is all part of my identity. You can take it or leave it coz I'm gay and I'm here to stay! 

DISCOVERING MYSELF

This is a sort of continuation of my previous blog post Coming Out of The Closet. Here I am going to tell you all why I'm doing what I'm doing at the moment so late in life. I may be 63 going on 64, but I still don't consider myself old by a long shot. When I was much younger, that is in my teens/twenties, coming out was taboo. I don't even think my parents even understood what the term gay/homosexual was, although they probably knew I was different from other kids. My mother always used to say that she loved me no matter what, which is pretty profound coming from a parent who had no clue that I was attracted to the same sex.

So let's start with my hair. I hate grey hair, it makes me look bald on top besides the hair on the sides still have their natural color, so tinting was in order. As for my nails, I've always had them long ever since our constitution protected my rights which was way back in the 1990's. In 2004 after my cancer diagnosis I sourced out Megan who has been doing my nails since then. I trust no one else. Now I'm getting pedicures done as well which are long overdue. Since may this year I started having my nails painted as I wanted to do something different, and nobody seems to be bothered or notice. But then I couldn't care less what they think! Every month I change the color with matching toenails. I feel liberated as though something has been set free from within myself. Doing drag is another way I set myself free. Two years running now I have donned a dress, wig and make-up for Durban Pride. I have to just practice my make-up skills though. I found a cosmetic shop that sells make-up at affordable prices and the staff are very helpful and friendly. I bought 3 lipsticks for R115 which is a good price, so I'm told.

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Ever since I was in my twenties, I have wished to be feminine as I was definitely not a masculine male but a shy, soft spoken individual who was creative and more interested in dressing up than in rugby. Did you know I could have been a ballet dancer? I showed an intrest when I used to go to my sister's ballet classes. Her teacher said I had potential, but that dream ended when my mother put an end to that by proclaiming that only girls do ballet! 

Would I have ever transitioned? Would I have ever changed sex? Although I have thought about this a lot since my youth. I have always wondered what people close to me would say. In my youth there were never the resources that are available today, you couldn't discuss this openly with your peers in those days. I must stress that I do not want to become another Caitlyn Jenner, I probably would reclassify myself. However at the moment no decision has been made as yet! Will keep you updated.

COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

Closets are for clothes not people, so I have decided to write about me and about who I am. When I was younger I knew I was different from other boys, and grew up in an era when it was taboo to be who you really were. That being said I have always had a feminine side which doesn't mean I wanted to be a woman.
Ever since I was a teen I was fascinated by long fingernails and high heels. It took nearly 30 years later, when South Africa hailed in a new government and a new constitution that I realised I must be who I am meant to be. It took a near death experience in 2004 when I was diagnosed with colon cancer and became a survivor. It was then that I realised that I had been given a second chance at life and so I started doing what I had always wanted to do. It is sad when people start concerning themselves with the way people express themselves. I was brought up in an era where boys had to wear blue, play with toy cars, have a girlfriend, and get married. Well I had a doll, even played with my sister's barbie. In  my teens I even tried on my mother's high heels when she was out shopping. Let's just say that was a thrilling experience! 

I have always liked long fingernails, and had my first manicure in 2004. It's now 12 years later and I am still going to the same lady manicurist. Just recently I've been painting my nails, and this week I had a long over due pedicure and decided to have my toenails painted. 

In about 2000 I started to try my hand at drag, and appeared quite good at it. Since 2004 I have appeared twice in drag at Durban Pride, and once at at drag birthday party. And where to from here? I must stress that I don't intend to transition, I am quite happy being a dragqueen. And a gay one at that! I admire the transgender community, especially those who now identify as female. It does take time to get ready every day especially getting dressed 24/7. We dragqueens put on makeup etc maybe once a month. I can imagine how time consuming it is to be a female full time.

As for me I identify as a feminine male, meaning I still look male but with feminine traits......long nails and long hair.

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