DISCOVERING MYSELF 3

I'm on a mission. Before I can consider how I will live my life there are two things I have to  tackle first, one is to lose weight and secondly I must try and eliminate my gout. It's because of the gout that my feet are slightly swollen which prevents me from wearing my high heels and "other" shoes. So I have to start getting a diet together.
In my search for an identity, I will be venturing into uncharted territory as I would like to put it. On the 19th December I'm going to have some nail art done on my long nails. I know more or less what I want done so I will post the result here afterwards. I have developed a sudden intrest in nailart. Maybe this the next step towards my adrogony? The picture below is not of my nails but one I found on the web. I love the design and would like to have it done for pride next year. What do you think? Meantime I was thinking of using red instead of gold with silver stripes.

Actually the more I look at this pic, the more I like the colour and design. Maybe I'll even end up doing this on my next appointment at Woman's World. It's been decided, I'm doing my nails like the ones above. I'm so excited I can't wait! I spoke to my nail tech and it's going down on the 19th. This design is stunning and definitely something I would do!

Here's another photo by the same nail artist as above. I just love the color. Even though the photo is called "Halloween Nails" I just love it! Halloween may be over but one could do other designs on them.That color is something else. I know I've written more about my nails this time, but.I believe it is all part of my identity. You can take it or leave it coz I'm gay and I'm here to stay! 

DISCOVERING MYSELF Part 2

After the last post, and discussions with a few friends, I have decided for the time being just to be who I am and not to be who others want me to be. Why should I waste time and energy worrying what other people think of my femininity? I don't plan going anywhere or changing for those people. I am gay and I'm here to stay, so get over it. One of the first things I need to do is alter my dress code to something more unisex, as the trousers I wear don't fit my personae. I think it's the cut of the trousers, but first I have to lose a few kilos here and there before I embark on that journey. Nothing is impossible! My diet should probably change too as I suffer from gout and with my colon cancer the surgeon recently removed 75% of my colon. I'm still functioning as a normal human being, I need to get my health in order too.
My feet are a bit of mess too, all to to do with the effects of gout. My hair has always been long, but when I do drag I prefer using wigs. I always say "blondes have more fun", hehe. Below I attempted to wash a synthetic wig and for a first try it turned out fine.

One of my friends who is a hairdresser, is going to make me a new wig. Can't wait for that to happen. With me still going for my regular manicures and pedicures, I feel liberated. It is hard to believe that I have been going for manicures for over 12 years! Hopefully for 2017 I can look forward to new challenges. I really need to practice make-up. As they say practice makes perfect. Getting the right cosmetics is another ball game, luckily I know a few people who can give advice. Fortunately Youtube is overflowing with make-up tutorials for every occasion. I'll leave you with a latest picture of my nails....

DISCOVERING MYSELF

This is a sort of continuation of my previous blog post Coming Out of The Closet. Here I am going to tell you all why I'm doing what I'm doing at the moment so late in life. I may be 63 going on 64, but I still don't consider myself old by a long shot. When I was much younger, that is in my teens/twenties, coming out was taboo. I don't even think my parents even understood what the term gay/homosexual was, although they probably knew I was different from other kids. My mother always used to say that she loved me no matter what, which is pretty profound coming from a parent who had no clue that I was attracted to the same sex.

So let's start with my hair. I hate grey hair, it makes me look bald on top besides the hair on the sides still have their natural color, so tinting was in order. As for my nails, I've always had them long ever since our constitution protected my rights which was way back in the 1990's. In 2004 after my cancer diagnosis I sourced out Megan who has been doing my nails since then. I trust no one else. Now I'm getting pedicures done as well which are long overdue. Since may this year I started having my nails painted as I wanted to do something different, and nobody seems to be bothered or notice. But then I couldn't care less what they think! Every month I change the color with matching toenails. I feel liberated as though something has been set free from within myself. Doing drag is another way I set myself free. Two years running now I have donned a dress, wig and make-up for Durban Pride. I have to just practice my make-up skills though. I found a cosmetic shop that sells make-up at affordable prices and the staff are very helpful and friendly. I bought 3 lipsticks for R115 which is a good price, so I'm told.

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Ever since I was in my twenties, I have wished to be feminine as I was definitely not a masculine male but a shy, soft spoken individual who was creative and more interested in dressing up than in rugby. Did you know I could have been a ballet dancer? I showed an intrest when I used to go to my sister's ballet classes. Her teacher said I had potential, but that dream ended when my mother put an end to that by proclaiming that only girls do ballet! 

Would I have ever transitioned? Would I have ever changed sex? Although I have thought about this a lot since my youth. I have always wondered what people close to me would say. In my youth there were never the resources that are available today, you couldn't discuss this openly with your peers in those days. I must stress that I do not want to become another Caitlyn Jenner, I probably would reclassify myself. However at the moment no decision has been made as yet! Will keep you updated.

COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

Closets are for clothes not people, so I have decided to write about me and about who I am. When I was younger I knew I was different from other boys, and grew up in an era when it was taboo to be who you really were. That being said I have always had a feminine side which doesn't mean I wanted to be a woman.
Ever since I was a teen I was fascinated by long fingernails and high heels. It took nearly 30 years later, when South Africa hailed in a new government and a new constitution that I realised I must be who I am meant to be. It took a near death experience in 2004 when I was diagnosed with colon cancer and became a survivor. It was then that I realised that I had been given a second chance at life and so I started doing what I had always wanted to do. It is sad when people start concerning themselves with the way people express themselves. I was brought up in an era where boys had to wear blue, play with toy cars, have a girlfriend, and get married. Well I had a doll, even played with my sister's barbie. In  my teens I even tried on my mother's high heels when she was out shopping. Let's just say that was a thrilling experience! 

I have always liked long fingernails, and had my first manicure in 2004. It's now 12 years later and I am still going to the same lady manicurist. Just recently I've been painting my nails, and this week I had a long over due pedicure and decided to have my toenails painted. 

In about 2000 I started to try my hand at drag, and appeared quite good at it. Since 2004 I have appeared twice in drag at Durban Pride, and once at at drag birthday party. And where to from here? I must stress that I don't intend to transition, I am quite happy being a dragqueen. And a gay one at that! I admire the transgender community, especially those who now identify as female. It does take time to get ready every day especially getting dressed 24/7. We dragqueens put on makeup etc maybe once a month. I can imagine how time consuming it is to be a female full time.

As for me I identify as a feminine male, meaning I still look male but with feminine traits......long nails and long hair.

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PREPARING FOR DURBAN PRIDE 2016

With just over 2 months to go until Durban's gay community take over the ampitheatre on the beachfront, everyone including myself is making preperations for Pride 2016. This year sounds like a lot of fun as a host of international guests are scheduled to attend. These "guests" will have attended the International Aids conference from the 16th til the 22nd July.

   I believe that on Friday night, 22nd July, there will be a drag show for seniors along with the crowning of Miss Gay Durban Pride 2016. This year too, the Miss Durban Pride will be open to contestants outside Durban and South Africa, plus a contest for drag kings and men will also be held. I will keep you updated. 

    As for me, preperations are well under way. I have just got to get my garnment made. We have the fabric, it's a matter of putting it all together. Are you ready? Before you know it, 23rd July will be here before you lnow it! Don't get caught out!

SHOULD AIR GUNS BE BANNED IN SOUTH AFRICA?

I was shopping at Game in City View Mall the other day, when afterwards I was walking around the mall and passed a shop that sold watches and other goods. On display in the window were BB air guns similar to the one pictured here on the left. Now my question is whether you need a license to own one of these/ after observing the type of people who actually went into the shop and asked to see the guns, I came to the conclusion that this is not the case. Anyone can purchase one it seems, and guns like these can be had on "bid or buy" for under R200. That's about $16 which is cheap for a gun "that looks and feels like the real thing". Considering that under South Africa's strict gun laws, one needs a licence to own a proper firearm that shoots live ammunition it would seem that even though these air guns shoot pellets (small metallic balls) they should have some sort of restriction imposed upon the sale of them. Believe me these air guns can kill. Who is going to argue with the gunman if you are robbed or hijacked whilst having this air gun pointed at you?

These are the pellets used in an air gun.

So what is your opinion of the whole matter? Should these guns be allowed to be sold freely? Should one have to have a licence to own one? This is what the law in South Africa says about the matter: "All air guns are very loosely regulated in South Africa. The only laws concerning them
are that they still count as firearms if used in a crime, and can't be fired or exposed in public areas. Airguns may be carried on one's person concealed, not openly.
It is an offense to shoot animals and human beings, except criminals and animals which are attacking you. It must also be carried in a bag, not on your body, otherwise it is an
offense. It does not require a license because it is not a firearm." I do not know what the law in other countries say, but it is available on Wikhapedia to read. Please share and comment on this post as it would be interesting to hear the good and the bad of all this. Maybe the law can get changed along the way too?

REMEMBERING MY EARLY YEARS (Part 2)

Me when I attended Kenmore Private School.

As  I said previously we stayed with my grandparents in Florida Road for awhile til we could find a flat or house for ourselves. The house was built in the early 1900's and am told that there were stables for horses at the back.After my grandparents died, it was declared a National Monument after the family tried to sell it. It is now a resturaunt. The house had large grounds, with a front garden where my grandfather had made a swing, a see-saw and a roundabout for grandchildren to play on.Those days you could leave your front gates open without any fear of criminals entering the premises. On the one side of the house were tennis courts which they had converted into a large greenhouse for my grandmother's anthirium plants. She was known as the "anthiririum queen" and used to always win prizes at the annual horticultural flower show in the Durban City Hall. She used to grow the plants from seedlings and was known for her monthly sale of anthirium plants. Every weekend she used to cut blooms and pack them for rail transport, with the help of her 2 daughters and my mother. They were sent to florists around the country. When us kids had the silkworm craze, she used to help us collect mulberry leaves, take the "silk" off their cacoons. Our grandmother was interested in many things. I remember her nursing a baby bird that was abandoned by it's mother. Whilst staying at my grandparents I went to a few schools. In Class 1 and 2 (not sure what they call it now) I attended Maris Stella school in Musgrave Road. I remember my teacher was a Cynthia Wood who was an accomplished pianist and organist as well. In Standard 1 I attended Kenmore Private School which was actually right opposite my grandparents house in Florida Rd. Our parents finally got a flat in Rapson Road in morningside a few years later. After attending Kenmore, I went to DPHS in Gordon Road. I recall attending a few years there before we went to St Henry's (Marist Brothers).

295 Florida Road, Durban. It was declared a national monument
after my grandparents passed on.

Should I do a part 3? There are so many stories to tell from our days in Glenwood to when I started work. Hopefully I can get the time to recall my early years of life.