DISCOVERING MYSELF Part 2

After the last post, and discussions with a few friends, I have decided for the time being just to be who I am and not to be who others want me to be. Why should I waste time and energy worrying what other people think of my femininity? I don't plan going anywhere or changing for those people. I am gay and I'm here to stay, so get over it. One of the first things I need to do is alter my dress code to something more unisex, as the trousers I wear don't fit my personae. I think it's the cut of the trousers, but first I have to lose a few kilos here and there before I embark on that journey. Nothing is impossible! My diet should probably change too as I suffer from gout and with my colon cancer the surgeon recently removed 75% of my colon. I'm still functioning as a normal human being, I need to get my health in order too.
My feet are a bit of mess too, all to to do with the effects of gout. My hair has always been long, but when I do drag I prefer using wigs. I always say "blondes have more fun", hehe. Below I attempted to wash a synthetic wig and for a first try it turned out fine.

One of my friends who is a hairdresser, is going to make me a new wig. Can't wait for that to happen. With me still going for my regular manicures and pedicures, I feel liberated. It is hard to believe that I have been going for manicures for over 12 years! Hopefully for 2017 I can look forward to new challenges. I really need to practice make-up. As they say practice makes perfect. Getting the right cosmetics is another ball game, luckily I know a few people who can give advice. Fortunately Youtube is overflowing with make-up tutorials for every occasion. I'll leave you with a latest picture of my nails....

DISCOVERING MYSELF

This is a sort of continuation of my previous blog post Coming Out of The Closet. Here I am going to tell you all why I'm doing what I'm doing at the moment so late in life. I may be 63 going on 64, but I still don't consider myself old by a long shot. When I was much younger, that is in my teens/twenties, coming out was taboo. I don't even think my parents even understood what the term gay/homosexual was, although they probably knew I was different from other kids. My mother always used to say that she loved me no matter what, which is pretty profound coming from a parent who had no clue that I was attracted to the same sex.

So let's start with my hair. I hate grey hair, it makes me look bald on top besides the hair on the sides still have their natural color, so tinting was in order. As for my nails, I've always had them long ever since our constitution protected my rights which was way back in the 1990's. In 2004 after my cancer diagnosis I sourced out Megan who has been doing my nails since then. I trust no one else. Now I'm getting pedicures done as well which are long overdue. Since may this year I started having my nails painted as I wanted to do something different, and nobody seems to be bothered or notice. But then I couldn't care less what they think! Every month I change the color with matching toenails. I feel liberated as though something has been set free from within myself. Doing drag is another way I set myself free. Two years running now I have donned a dress, wig and make-up for Durban Pride. I have to just practice my make-up skills though. I found a cosmetic shop that sells make-up at affordable prices and the staff are very helpful and friendly. I bought 3 lipsticks for R115 which is a good price, so I'm told.

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Ever since I was in my twenties, I have wished to be feminine as I was definitely not a masculine male but a shy, soft spoken individual who was creative and more interested in dressing up than in rugby. Did you know I could have been a ballet dancer? I showed an intrest when I used to go to my sister's ballet classes. Her teacher said I had potential, but that dream ended when my mother put an end to that by proclaiming that only girls do ballet! 

Would I have ever transitioned? Would I have ever changed sex? Although I have thought about this a lot since my youth. I have always wondered what people close to me would say. In my youth there were never the resources that are available today, you couldn't discuss this openly with your peers in those days. I must stress that I do not want to become another Caitlyn Jenner, I probably would reclassify myself. However at the moment no decision has been made as yet! Will keep you updated.