Dear Walter.............

At some time in our lives we have read the advice columns in your local magazines and newspapers, and often wonder if the the people asking the advice or the "giver" of advice really do exist. I rememember the ones we had on the "back" page of the local Sunday newspaper that children were banned from reading because of the advice asked/given. Today we have the Dr Paul who gives advice on relationships and Peter Kirsten who gives gardening advice. My point is .....if the column is "Ask Auntie Alice" for example are you sure that it is Auntie Alice dishing out advice to you? It could been Uncle or better still a penguin. It is of my opinion that men should never be allowed to write an advice column, merely because their advice is usually not related to the matter at hand as the following example shows:

"Dear Walter:

I hope you can help me. The other day I left for work, leaving my husband in the house watching TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a few hundred yards down the road when my engine conked out and the car slowed to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was parading in front of the wardrobe mirror dressed in my underwear and high-heel shoes, and he was wearing my make-up. I am 32, my husband is 34, and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to convince me that he had dressed in my lingerie because he couldn't find his own underwear. But when I asked him about the make-up, he broke down and admitted that he'd been wearing my clothes for six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He lost his job six months ago and says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don't feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?

Sincerely,

Sheila Lusk

*******

Dear Sheila:

A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of problems with the engine. Start by making sure there is no debris in the fuel line. If it's clear, check the clips holding the vacuum hoses onto the intake manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps.

Walter"

This little piece was doing the rounds on the internet recently and is hillarious, and on that piece of advice........til next time!